Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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