You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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