I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
