We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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