I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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