Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
