do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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