God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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