I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
