He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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