the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I deserve this hangover.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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