I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
The power of my boobs compel you
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
