i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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