I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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