Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
