I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
