How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
