i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
You're a waste of cheezeits
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
