im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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