you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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