I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
