Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
