Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
