btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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