dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
