No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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