so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Randomize
