They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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