My brain says no but my pants say off.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize