Dual....:-)
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
