just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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