are you so shy because you have an std?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
