i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
