I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
