I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
