it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
