what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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