So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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