Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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