How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Sext me about skeletons
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
