God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
