Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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