I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
MIDGETS
????
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
