I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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