It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Randomize
