chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
