Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
