I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i drank out of a bidet.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
