well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
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