if i died would you start the facebook group?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
