high people should be assigned attendants
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Randomize
