i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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