C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I cockslap morals
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Michael Bay diarrhea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize