My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
