Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I have feelings that need drinking.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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