OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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