Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
