i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
