apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
