i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
