dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
