Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Why is there bacon in the couch?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
