Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
MIDGETS
????
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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