I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
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