Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
