No stitches, just platelets and will power
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
